Hurry up and wait.

Hurry up and wait.

The end of pregnancy, for those who go full term, seems to follow the theme of "hurry up and wait."

For most of your pregnancy you spend your time completing a list of things that "need" to be accomplished. This includes; getting your babies layette together, the nursery together, reading up on baby care, taking baby classes, going to appointments with increasing frequency, finding a pediatrician, finishing projects around the house, making lifestyle changes before the baby comes, changing your eating, changing your thinking, and even the way you dress becomes more and more twisted as pregnancy goes on. You spend your time hurrying to complete a seemingly never ending list before the baby comes. The further along you get, the more items seem to get added, and the less time and energy you have to accomplish them. So, you feel hurried.

Once that labor bag is packed, the hurry sets in even more and, if you followed advice (which most likely you did) you had it packed early. At least three weeks early. You plan to have everything finished for week 37, full term. "Just in case" baby comes early, you don't want to be caught with your pants down or no pants at the hospital. So, you may go ahead and throw your labor bag in the car, and put the car seat in there too. You may also have chosen to have EVERYTHING finished in the nursery, along with washing every stitch of clothes because who wants to come home from the hospital to an unfinished nursery and clothes that need to be washed? No one. As your first duty as a mom, you want to be ready. So now, you are officially on high alert. The words "any time now" ring excitedly through your head.

"Any time now" sounds great to say for about a week, or two. When people ask when you are due, you cheerily respond with something like, "Well, my due dates not until X but, it could be any time now!" and you may even insinuate that you don't think you will go until your due date. Which really, is just wishful thinking because at this point, you are tired of being pregnant. Now comes the waiting....perhaps for 4 to six more weeks!

You try to follow peoples advice of "enjoying" life the way it is before it will never be the same again but, how do you do that? What does that even mean? How can you truly enjoy the life "the way it was" when you don't know how it is going to be? You can't really throw a party and get smashed or anything like that. Matter of fact, at this point in pregnancy just getting the energy to put makeup on or blow dry your hair seems difficult. A celebration is just keeping your food down without heart burn and happily going to the bathroom without too much strain or incidence.

Around this time your skin may give in, your emotions may give in, your spouse may also be reaching the end of his ropes. People want to plan get-togethers and dinners with you "before the baby comes" but, all you can think of is "it could be any time now." Every day is it's own mini eternity. Planned around the waiting and wanting to have enough energy for the most energy needy event of life. You try to keep your cell phone charged, your phone list near by, and everything in your house tidy while you wait (and in my case continue to go to work). You might even find yourself saying, "This is the last time I am going to have to do X before the baby comes!" only to find yourself doing it another five times. Each time with growing frustration.

Waiting.... waiting....

I tried to explain the waiting feeling of the end of pregnancy to my hubby in terms that he could understand. Not meaning to sounds exceptionally negative but, wanting to get my point across in a man friendly way. This is what I told him...

It is like waiting to be shot by a bullet in the stomach. (Pause, pause, pause.) Ok, bear with me here. I know it sounds crazy but, this is what I told him.

Can you imagine someone coming to you and telling you that you were going to be shot. That it was definite. Now way around it, it was going to happen. The catch being that you would not know when it would happen. They would give you a rough date estimate. Could be a few weeks before the estimated date, or a couple weeks after. Could happen at any time of the day or night. No matter where you were or what you were doing. It was coming. The pain too. At least, they said, it would be in the stomach so you wouldn't die or anything. You would just have to be in a lot of pain, and then deal with recovery.

How would you like to wait for that!? I wouldn't!

Now, I realize that I am waiting for something wonderful and exciting! That waiting has a beautiful point to it! It is a blessing! That does not change the waiting though....

Next time around, I refuse to hurry up and wait! ...or do I have a choice... Perhaps God is teaching me a lesson about patience and I stubbornly have my fingers in my ears!?

:-D